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July 2010 - Ah...Summer!

Joanne Lutz — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 12:04:00 GMT

The arrival of my favorite season means vacations for many; folks dashing off to enjoy the freedom of school out of session, warm weather gracing our days, and the sense of melting tensions that summer allows. Recently, I read a Boston.com article about what makes for a memorable vacation. The author made some interesting points, supported by studies and data, explaining that the quality of your time off largely depends upon the intensity of your vacation activities - not the number of days you cobble together. This"intensity" may be positive or negative, but regardless, the heightened energy creates a lasting memory.

Reviewing some of my own vacation memories, this theory holds true. From the extraordinary laughter with friends as they fall over each other in the warm,saltwater of St. John (above), or when a friend jumped out at a stoplight to do a lap around our rental van with a police cruiser watching us across the street (not at 18 years old, but at 40!), to the crazy Virginia thunder / lightening / torrential rain storm that slowed our family's progress down to Jacksonville, FL one summer night...soaking the roof top carrier and drip, drip, dripping rain inside the car where the carrier was tied on, or racing to a Miami hospital because my husband got 2nd degree burns from a faulty Starbucks cup...each event holds a place of memory in my mind and in my body.

Recalling each scenario, I notice the different responses my body produces,feeling as though I am there right now. The way my facial muscles respond to the laughter, and the way my heart beats faster from the thunder that enveloped us; this is how my body holds the memory of those vital experiences.

This closely relates to my coaching work. Everyday, I witness the impact of trauma and the resulting body memory; memories that hold us back from our greatest possibilities,because they are "stuck" in us, until we notice and release them. One of the critically important parts of this work is having a place - a memory - to "glide" to; a safe place, when everything just lined up. A time when you knew you were exactly where you were meant to be, like being in a van filled with friends while one of them runs around the outside - feeling the laughter filling the body inside and out. At What's Next?! Workshop we call it a "just right moment."

Through classes, training, and my own intuitive sense, I know the importance and power of a "just right moment," but most accessible data relates to traumatic encounters, not intensely positive events. Within this simple vacation article, could be a wealth of information for how to link one "just right moment" to the next. By allowing the passion and intensity of your own experience, positive memories may be created, and those, too, will reside in your body. As we string together a series of "just right moments" we forge new neuro-pathways in our body. The neurons that send messages to our brain can truly fire on all cylinders in a way that engages our feelings of well being, rather than those reactions resulting from stress and trauma.

There is no shortcut. But if you have released old reactive patterns, you might consider what you want to fill that space with. What are the new mind-body memories you wish to create, and might those be "just right moments" to support your future growth, and well being?

So,what fabulously powerful experience can you allow yourself to have today? Something that feels absolutely right for you, allowing you to be truly who you are...creating a memory that will support you in the tomorrows to come. Now, what if you opened the space for this sort of intensity in your life daily? Could everyday feel as wonderful as a memorable vacation? It might be worth a try.

Making memories to match the intensity of the sun,

Joanne Lutz
Coaching~Consulting~Referral Resource
Founder of The Consciousness Collaborative
www.TheCCsite.com ~ www.WhatsNextWorkshop.com
Joanne@TheCCsite.com ~ ph. 617-827-0803 ~ fax 781-777-1899

June 2010 - Easy Answers

Joanne Lutz — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 13:45:00 GMT

In a recent meeting with one of my mentors, I picked up two tidbits to share with you. First, he suggested: "forget everything you know about what you can't do." Right about that time, my brain melted. It took several days for this concept to sink in.

Whatever limitations I've placed on myself - beliefs about what I cannot do, are to be forgotten! Noticing my scrunched face, he gave a couple of examples, and I'll offer the simplest of them here.

Before the first person was recorded running a mile in under four minutes, the world believed it couldn't be done. After Roger Bannister confounded those beliefs by achieving this feat in 1954, many athletes followed suit; they knew it was possible! It became an attainable goal to strive for, as evidenced by the fact that someone had already done it. Bannister didn't hold the belief that a four-minute mile was impossible, he just ran. (read similar stories)

Bannister once said, "Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn't matter whether you're a lion or a gazelle--when the sun comes up, you'd better be running." Playing out this proverb, the gazelle doesn't wake up in the morning and think,"I'll never outrun that lion...it can't be done." And the lion doesn't wake up thinking, "I'll never catch a gazelle, I should give up now." Each animal operates as though what they want and need will happen -not limited by beliefs.

This notion shifts a paradigm for me. And in case I wasn't paying attention, my husband pulled an old book off of the shelf the other day, "Illusions,"by Richard Bach. I'd read this many years ago, and found myself reading through it again. Want to guess what it's about? The illusion that we can't do whatever we truly want to do - hmph! Okay, I'm listening!

How often do you hold yourself back because of what you believe cannot be done...or at the very least, cannot be done by you? I am excited about embracing this new way of being...the prospect of forgetting about the dam blocking the water and just flowing...who knows where that might lead!

The second tidbit resonated with me deeply, because I already have some experience with this concept...in moments, I live it fully. He said,"Easily doesn't mean that you have the answer - easily means that you don't care that you don't." For clarity, the "don't care" wasn't defensive. Not the child stomping his foot and saying "I don't care!" I believe he meant that safety doesn't come from having the answers. Safety comes from knowing that each of us is okay in the not knowing. We have the right to be unsure. The insecurity of that moment - when faced with a question to which the answer is not obvious - reveals the greatest sense of self. The sense of "I am" even when I don't know. I deserve to be, without having any answers.

So I don't have any answers about where my path may lead as I forget what I cannot do. I only know that stepping into this new place liberates me and allows me to expand with abundance. I invite you to give it a try.

Taking it easily,
Joanne Lutz
Coaching~Consulting~Referral Resource
Founder of The Consciousness Collaborative
www.TheCCsite.com ~ www.WhatsNextWorkshop.com
Joanne@TheCCsite.com ~ ph. 617-827-0803 ~ fax 781-777-1899

May 2010 - Stealing Stuff

Joanne Lutz — Sun, 02 May 2010 04:14:00 GMT

When I was in my 20's I used to steal stuff. Not illegally. The people I took things from were my friends, and they always knew about it, even if they didn't like it.

My attachment to other people's stuff was unwavering. Once I had my eye on what I wanted, I found a way to get it and hold on to it. I think it felt like I had a little piece of my friend, even when the actual person couldn't be with me. Kind of sweet, in a misdemeanor kind of way.

In fact, the ardent borrowing of others' "stuff" didn't begin and end in my 20's. I've been taking things as my own for many more years than that; I just haven't been as blatant about it. Instead of the Perry Ellis sweater I stole from Ted, I adopted an eating pattern from my maternal grandmother and snatched a scarcity mentality from my father. Different from the sweater, I haven't taken these things away from them, I've simply added them to my own way of being.

I believe the principle reason for taking these things remains the same. When we can't have people in the way we want or need them, we steal apiece of how we know them and make it our own. It's a way to have the people we love, and yet, the behaviors we select are usually the same ones we were exposed to that left us in need. It seems a bit twisted,doesn't it?

For example,because I love my dad, I took on his scarcity model. Because he loved his, my dad took on the rules and consequences offered to him in lieu of genuine connection. Guess what? They're the same thing...past down from one generation to the next.

From a place of love, I can give back the scarcity beliefs to my dad. They were never mine. It's not what connects us. My true connection to him is undeniable. I have this amazing life because he helped to create me. His blood runs in my veins, and the authentic love that is universal exists between us. There simply is no other way it can be.

I did eventually give Ted his soft, warm sweater back. I figure, if we can give back the things we like because we feel secure in ourselves,why not give back those burdensome behaviors we carry. The ones we carry in the name of love as a replacement for what we missed from the people we needed most.

I invite you to consider what you carry, because it is impossible to allow the genuine, inherent connection to blossom while bearing the burden. Most of us lug a few. They're not as difficult to recognize as you might think. Simply identify the hardest thing for you to accept about someone close to you. Whatever that is, there's a pretty good chance you manifest your own version of this same behavior - a kind of mirror. Now ask, are you willing to give it back to the person you learned it from to open yourself to the true connection that exists between you? This work takes courage - and I believe in you.

By the way, did I mention that I like your sweater? Don't worry...you can keep it.

With abundance,

Joanne Lutz
Coaching~Consulting~Referral Resource
Founder of The Consciousness Collaborative
www.TheCCsite.com ~ www.WhatsNextWorkshop.com
Joanne@TheCCsite.com ~ ph. 617-827-0803 ~ fax 781-777-1899

April 2010 - Super Hero Strengths

Joanne Lutz — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 20:48:00 GMT

Ever notice that super heroes have their special powers rooted in their bodies? Superman can fly. Aquaman can breathe underwater. Even The Incredibles each possess a spectacular physical ability. And, to save the day, they combine their unique strengths with a moment of inspiration. (see related articles about gifts and inspiration)

Then there's the nemesis. He proves the brilliance of his mind time and again, but uses that power for evil rather than good. In his effort to gain control, he calls upon his personal gifts, and uses them to protect from feeling weak, helpless, and afraid. By feeling powerful, the villain masks his fears.

In retrospect, my gifts long resonated much more strongly with the nemesis than the superhero. Not because I had plans to destroy the world! Rather, my logic, curiosity, and ability to "figure things out" kept me living in my head, not in my body.

Bodies are vulnerable. They absorb information without even realizing it, and as a child, my world was unpredictable enough to seek safety where I could find it. Like Lex Luthor and Syndrome, I turned to my mind for security and control. My powerful survival instinct called upon the resources within me, and kept me away from the feelings of fear and helplessness. Notice, my superpowers didn't keep me from being vulnerable and helpless, but they provided solace when the feelings would otherwise overwhelm me.

We all have a superhero within us, and we are inevitably our own nemesis. As children, we tapped into our unique gifts using them to survive whatever situational trauma we faced. These talents morphed into our greatest defenses in times of perceived need, protecting us from feeling "too much," creating a pattern - a pathway in our neural network.

As adults, the pattern continues until we bring consciousness to our actions. What was once a brilliant course of action for a child, often does not serve the adult. Becoming aware of our unique talents, noticing when we use them as gifts to share, and when we call upon them as defenses to protect, empowers us to choose. And true to our inner superhero, the power of this information usually resides in our bodies.

Similar to the "check engine" light in a car, our bodies offer indicators. When a present day situation triggers a fearful memory, you might hold your breath, feel a knot in the pit your stomach, or feel your bowels turn to water. The brain reacts as though the original threatening memory could hurt us now.

When we haven't updated our beliefs - knowing that true safety comes from within, not from outside of us - we will do as we have always done, employ our gifts as protection, rather than allowing them to support us in blossoming. As a child, when my mom melted from reality into a schizophrenic delusion, I was terrified. For years, when people I cared about checked out, I mirrored the reaction of that terrified child, desperate to bring them back, so that I could feel safe.

Even as I write this, I feel my breaths quickening and becoming shallow with memory. By noticing what's happening in my body, and having curiosity about those sensations, I connect to the present moment. As Prita Manganiello says, "through mindfulness we switch from the 'History' channel to the 'Discovery' channel." With on-going intention, I allow myself to connect with my own body, noticing my indicator lights and updating - choosing to embody my superhero strengths, rather than holding on to my inner nemesis.

Using my gifts to support me, I am filled with compassion for the part of me who needed rescuing; and I appreciate the nemesis within who showed up when I needed to feel safe. I simply don't need that protection any longer. The whole of me can join the ranks of the super heroes, celebrating strengths with inspired joy and unlimited possibilities. I've not done this work alone and it is on-going. With support and gentleness, you too, may embody and manifest your superhero self. I encourage you to use your powers for good - no one is more deserving of them than YOU!

To end this three-segment series, I invite you to watch this video (rated R for language). It's about consciousness, inspiration, and the limitations we transform into contributions.

With mindfulness,

JoanneLutz
Coaching~Consulting~ReferralResource
Founder of The Consciousness Collaborative
www.TheCCsite.com ~ www.WhatsNextWorkshop.com
Joanne@TheCCsite.com ~ ph. 617-827-0803 ~ fax 781-777-1899

March 2010 - Inspiring Possibilities

Joanne Lutz — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 20:45:00 GMT

In The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks encourages us to bring laser focus to our most productive and important time of the day. If you've been following along, you know mine is in the shower. For me, it's where the universal consciousness speaks to me most freely and says, "Hey, Joanne, this one is for you - go for it!" Simply stated, my time in the shower is inspirational, and for me, that means productive.

The phenomenal power of inspiration dazzled me after seeing "Invictus," the film based on true events of Nelson Mandela and the Springbok rugby team. Mandela, leading by example, roused a divergent and struggling country to unite for a moment in time. He followed the truth within himself, using his most precious and unique personal gifts to share and celebrate the humanity that joined the people of his country.

Whether from music, nature, a unique experience, a close friend, the story of a stranger, a work of art, or a moment of self awareness, we are inspired daily. Some ideas feel ordinary, and we may take them for granted. Much the way we take for granted the gifts that are uniquely ours; however, if you heed the call of that which inspires you, the abundant passion with which you embrace your creativity, enlivens you, and may stir others to greatness! The connection to your most authentic and expansive self, inherently extends an irresistible invitation to those around you, creating space for greater universal presence and clarity. Marianne Williamson says it beautifully (read the quote).

With that, I invite you to take a moment to consider: what inspires you? Notice when you have experienced a single moment of feeling your own nugget of knowing slip into your consciousness like a best friend, reaching for your hand in a moment of triumph. In January, Anya Sophia Mann wrote about one of her moments, and reading her prose, I feel the zing right along with her!

My hypothesis: We are inspired by energies that resonate most deeply with our unique personal gifts. When we recognize something that touches upon the essence within us, we come alive! If we possess an awareness of our individual gifts, and we attend the call of inspiration when it rings our bells, anything is possible!

If anything is possible, who is the YOU that you choose to be?

Brimming with possibilities,

Joanne Lutz
Coaching~Consulting~Referral Resource
Founder of The Consciousness Collaborative
www.TheCCsite.com ~ www.WhatsNextWorkshop.com
Joanne@TheCCsite.com ~ ph. 617-827-0803 ~ fax 781-777-1899

February 2010 - The "Woo" in You

Joanne Lutz — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 03:10:00 GMT

Writing is not one of my gifts. For me, writing is an ability of compensation, not a gift of genius. Knowing that, you can imagine how writing this column challenges me! This month it required many showers, a film, and a written passage to prompt my prose. The result will be a three part series.

To begin, I invite you to consider your unique gifts. In my experience, these talents often seem ordinary to the person who possesses them. The ability feels so completely natural and easy, you might not even consider it special because the assumption is that "everyone has/can do that!"

My husband, Mark (pictured above), possesses the gift of "Woo" (StrengthFinders 2.0). He's the "Hey, how ya doin'? Great to see you!"chat-you-up-for-a-few-energetic-minutes-guy and then he moves on to the next person on the other side of the room to spread a little more Woo. It boggles my mind. How does he do that? He makes it look so easy!

I believe, for Mark, it truly is that easy. Wooing others is one of his gifts. Even if he tried to stop himself, the capacity is within him and springs from his essence. This gift provides him with incredible support to blast through any possible limitations, and allows him to live in his "Zone of Genius" (The Big Leap). Conversely, when the talent is used as a protection - a defense from intimacy - it becomes the limitation.

Each of us has within things we can't help but do - genius in our essence that simply emerges. A list of examples would know no bounds, and the combination of an individuals gifts (ie: baking talent, intuitive"common" sense, compassion, and an ability create comfort), is as exceptional as each of us. The challenge is appreciating the fullness of what we have within us. Discovering one's gifts is such a richly charged topic, we spend an entire day identifying and celebrating them during the What's Next?! Workshop series!

So, what's your Woo? Allow yourself the time and space to bring attention to your uniquely personal gifts. Begin by noticing what the things are that you cannot help but do. You've probably always done them in someway, since you were little. It will be something easy for you, so absolutely obvious, that you may have a moment of doubt as to whether THAT could possibly be considered a gift. Appreciating what you have within you, is a powerful step on the path of self-awareness; plus it's fun and may give you a little boost to recognize just how special you truly are!

With my gift of genuine curiosity,

Joanne Lutz
Coaching~Consulting~Referral Resource
Founder of The Consciousness Collaborative
www.TheCCsite.com ~ www.WhatsNextWorkshop.com
Joanne@TheCCsite.com ~ ph. 617-827-0803 ~ fax 781-777-1899

January 2010 - Fountain of Youth

Joanne Lutz — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 00:00:00 GMT

Facial cream, hair dye, Botox injections, plastic surgery: modern day substitutions for the Fountain of Youth?

The other day in the shower (where all of my best ideas drop in), I had a flash about the real secret of youth. It's not something you can pour out of a bottle or have injected into your cheeks. I believe the true gift comes from retrieving and loving younger parts of yourself - the"little ones" within you.

If you've participated in an Emotional Re-Education weekend or What's Next?! Workshop,you've witnessed this phenomenon. After honoring some younger self within, the face simply glows. People literally look years younger,and I believe it's because they integrated a "younger self" in a meaningful and loving way, reviving personal vitality in the process.

Allof us start as tiny, vulnerable beings completely dependent on the adults around us. Without their care, we would not survive. Yet, many of us witnessed our parents fighting, and felt terrified. Or maybe everyone was too busy to pay attention, and the loneliness became a companion more familiar than any person. Whatever the circumstances of your formative years, most of us have some hurt and scared parts that we don't acknowledge, let alone attend to.

I remember believing that I could make my mom happy. I thought, in my two-year-old body, I had power over her feelings. If you hear a voice inside saying, "well, you probably DID make her happy," note the flaw. If I could make her happy, then logically, I must also be responsible when her anger, fear, frustration, and sadness surfaced. How can any two year old (or 4, 9, 13, etc.) be responsible for another person's feelings?

For 30+ years I walked the earth thinking I could make someone feel. When the responsibility felt like a burden, my own anger rushed to the surface to push away the fear of the power I thought I wielded. Then,with awesome therapeutic support, I realized, I was operating from my two year old beliefs! I'd simply never updated my belief system. Hmph!

And that adorable little two year old within, well, she's not running the show anymore. I just love her and imagine myself giving her a big hug whenever that old belief bubbles up. I can have compassion for her and know that what she believed then doesn't fit for me now. By honoring the experience and retrieving that part of myself - I tap into my very own fountain of youth. Every time I retrieve a younger part of myself,it's like taking another sip from the fountain - leaving me more whole and glowing than before.

I figure, since another year has gone by, you might want to know - the true fountain of youth is within you. It's personal to you, just as mine is to me. If you'd like support finding yours, ask a member of The Consciousness Collaborative.

Cheers from my fountain to yours - Happy New Year!

Joanne Lutz
Coaching~Consulting~Referral Resource
Founder of The Consciousness Collaborative
www.TheCCsite.com ~ www.WhatsNextWorkshop.com
Joanne@TheCCsite.com ~ ph. 617-827-0803 ~ fax 781-777-1899

December 2009 - The Last Taboo?

Joanne Lutz — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 01:48:00 GMT

One of my business partners occasionally says, "In my experience,people are more likely to tell you how often they had sex last week,than to share how much money they have in the bank or how much debt they've accrued." Is Money the Last Taboo?

Death,Sex, and Money: topics once banned from polite conversation. Culturally speaking, death and sex seem to have become less restricted. We've read "Death Be Not Proud," watched "Six Feet Under,"and embraced the compassion of Hospice care. It's no longer a secret or forbidden ground. It's an experience to discuss and share with people you care about.

Sex differs a bit. It's everywhere! Plastered on every billboard, across the silver screen, in our reading materials, and on our laptops, it's true, sex sells. And yet, I perceive, we're not as apt to allow our vulnerability and openness, as we have come to do with death. Still, I agree with my partner, we're a little further along the path of eliminating sex as a taboo than we are with money.

A recent exercise through Prita Manganiello's, Art of Relating series, revealed my personal history with money. In my life, money has always been an issue. In turn, it became a concrete truth: "Money is always an issue." Whether the manifestation is positive or negative (I grew up more familiar with the negative), I have held it as a fundamental belief. Realizing this, I wondered; what if I'm wrong? What if my belief,based on a series of experiences, is not a prediction of the future. I could then allow my relationship with money to shift, just as I shift and improve my relationships with people.

Maria Nemeth, author of "The Energy of Money,"delves into this concept beautifully, inviting us to explore our beliefs about money and the relationship that results. Through her straight forward approach, she shines a light on this taboo, offering tools, learned from her personal experience, to enhance your relationship with money.

In a video interview, Nemeth explains, "How we do money is how we do life." What a powerful concept! How I relate to money is a reflection of all aspects of my life. If I believe that money is always an issue, would it be any wonder that I expect and create "issues" in other areas as well?

With effort, curiosity, and compassion, I am lifting the veil of my own taboo. I invite you to join me. In fact, Walter Bacigalupo and I will be offering a related workshop in 2010 - a safe place to explore your beliefs and possibly shift your perception and relationship with money. Stay tuned.

With shared abundance,

Joanne Lutz
Coaching~Consulting~Referral Resource
Founder of The Consciousness Collaborative
www.TheCCsite.com ~ www.WhatsNextWorkshop.com
Joanne@TheCCsite.com ~ ph. 617-827-0803 ~ fax 781-777-1899

November 2009 - What Matters?

Joanne Lutz — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 03:42:00 GMT

Do you matter? I know, what a silly question! Of course the answer is a resounding, "yes!" - right?

As Jamie Thurber and I prepare for the 2010 What's Next?! Workshop series, I'm increasingly aware of how brilliant and courageous it is when people behave as if they matter. Imagine taking the time to give yourself what you need. To make yourself a priority, carving out time for exploring who you are, allowing what you want, and accepting support in your journey.

When Bunny Duhl co-facilitated the Emotional Re-Education Workshop, she lead the group with a very simple statement, "I'm here for me, and I'm here for you." The phrase has carried on, long after Bunny's retirement as a facilitator.

Amazingly, this statement flies in the face of what many of us learned. Maybe you heard it from your mom,"Don't be selfish - Think of someone else first." If you are a person of faith, you may have learned to "Put God above all else." As a member of the military, protecting the safety and integrity of the unit matters most. So, why, then would anyone ever utter the phrase, "I'm here for me, and I'm here for you?"

My personal truth is this: I cannot be present for someone else, if I am not present for myself first. I liken it to the plane safety instructions, "place the oxygen mask on yourself first, and then help the person seated next to you."

So, I ask, do you matter enough to come first?

If you're a parent, it may feel quite difficult to imagine putting your own needs and wants before that of your child. But what happens when you don't get enough sleep? Or if you've gotten the kids fed, homework done, bathed, and into bed, and you still haven't eaten dinner? I don't know about you, but I know I get cranky when I'm tired and hungry! Jamie ducks when hunger strikes me during a meeting, because, as he says, "we've entered the cartoon world" and I view him like a nice roasted chicken! Without my most basic needs met, I am miserable. My clipped speech and unforgiving manner are telltale signs that I haven't heeded the "here for me, here for you" creed.

Consciousness Collaborative member, Lysa Wilkins, considers her time with Cini (her horse friend - pictured above) to be some of the most important time of her day. I know this because she rides Cini at 5:30 every morning - before she does anything else - even throughout the winter! For Lysa, the relationship between horse and human fuels the soul. In this way, Lysa shows up for herself first, and then extends her energetic warmth and enthusiasm to people in her life.

Consider what matters most to you. What do you feel nourishes your life force? Allow yourself to notice where that, which energizes you, falls on your priority list. If writing feeds you, start your day with it! If painting fills you with a sense of joy, don't let the laundry, the errands, and raking the leaves keep you from your own passion. And if you find yourself struggling with being first, allow support, discover why it's hard, and create an opening for something new. Because when you show up for yourself first, there is no sense of deprivation. Your fullness then extends freely to others, supporting them, as it has supported you.

I'm here for me and I'm here for you,

Joanne Lutz
Coaching~Consulting~Referral Resource
Founder of The Consciousness Collaborative
www.TheCCsite.com ~ www.WhatsNextWorkshop.com
Joanne@TheCCsite.com ~ ph. 617-827-0803 ~ fax 781-777-1899

October 2009 - Bending Time

Joanne Lutz — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 17:51:00 GMT

Rushing, rushing, rushing...boredom...so many things to get done - so little time, running late, feeling exhausted...a window of unexpected extra time. What to do? Fill it up to keep the busy feeling going? Allow the peacefulness of quiet? Or just wait for the next onslaught of "must do" to claim your attention. Do you know this one?

From the end of July through mid-September, every activity I had planned for myself evaporated. This included social dinners, client sessions,meetings with associates - you name it - it either got cancelled or rescheduled. And as a result, I had all of this...well, time! But it was always last minute, not the sort of thing you could make plans with.

I knew the universe was trying to tell me something (several things actually), but I was a little slow on the uptake. The night seven of eight women of WOW (Women on Wednesdays support/coaching group) were down for the count, I remembered - "Einstein Time!"

In The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks succinctly conveys a concept that brilliant minds from Einstein to Hawking have been proposing for years: time is relative - it is bendable - it is an illusion that we try to solidify with clocks and schedules, as though it is something outside of us. We use it as a reference point to ensure our safe existence, and yet it is not steady or static. If we allow our perceptions to shift, and integrate the Einstein Time theory, Hendricks explains we must embrace "one profoundly simple truth: You're where time comes from."

It reminds me a bit of the internal compass. Each of us has a navigating force within us, and it includes the malleability of time. The power to always have the time we need comes from inside, not from a clock or a schedule.

To fully take ownership of this concept means never being bored again, no more rushing, or watching the clock and feeling the pressure of time closing in. Instead, we create all the time we need to accomplish the things that are important to us, and rather than exhausted, we feel energized as a result.

Think I'm making it up? I'm not. I've done it, and it's amazing! I'll admit, it's harder to live in Einstein Time than to understand the principle. But when I allow myself to bend time to suit my internal clock, life shifts and I feel a wealth of abundance and possibility.

I could tell you that "I don't have enough time" to amply explain Einstein Time in this short piece, but time is not the issue! And if you think about it, I bet you've already experienced this phenomenon. Remember what it feels like to fall in love, or work on a project that consumes you, or simply talking with a best friend over coffee. Where does the time go? Three hours feels like a single moment! Now imagine that list of things you don't really want to do, or an endless day at the office, or the occasion you told your son you couldn't play catch, because you just didn't have the time. These are all examples of time bending, sometimes to a molasses pace and at others approaching the speed of light.

What if you created exactly the time you desire to do all the things you want to do? How liberating would that feel? I know I have not yet completely taken ownership of time. But I'm getting glimpses of it. Have time bending experiences you'd like to share? Blog them here!

Making good time (it takes on a whole new meaning, doesn't it?),

Joanne Lutz
Coaching~Consulting~Referral Resource
Founder of The Consciousness Collaborative
www.TheCCsite.com ~ www.WhatsNextWorkshop.com
Joanne@TheCCsite.com ~ ph. 617-827-0803 ~ fax 781-777-1899

September 2009 - Curse of Knowledge

Joanne Lutz — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 04:38:00 GMT

How do you explain a puzzle when you take for granted the pieces that create it? In

Made to Stick, authors Dan and Chip Heath refer to this predicament as the "Curse of Knowledge."

Consider your area of expertise. If you're a dentist, root canals and crowns make up your language of impact. It likely doesn't occur to you that a patient may have no idea what those procedures involve. If you're a real estate agent, and a home inspector finds radon or termites, you have experiential knowledge about what those conditions imply and the steps required to resolve the issues. A new home buyer may have heard these terms, just as the dental patient had, but until it became personal, they held no real interest or meaning.

When I started an internship as a funeral director, my job description was "do whatever they tell you." Okay, but what are they saying??? "Park the hearse at the point." Do you know what that means? I didn't. The funeral home was located in Kenmore Square, positioned between Commonwealth Avenue and Beacon Street, where the streets meet - "the point." Ah....easy when someone tells you, not so easy when you're a new, diligent employee and you wonder how you went through two years of school and missed "the point!"

The Consciousness Collaborative is currently faced with it's own curse of knowledge. A defining criteria for membership is the ability to "be present" with each client and engage in "personal growth work" to foster this "presence." Parenting Consultant, Beth Sutton calls this "in-house" language. She's absolutely right! Teasing apart the meaning of this shorthand, enables the public to understand how we are different - special - and uniquely talented. I mentioned presence and personal growth work. For fun, I'll break down the latter.

Personal growth work -the process of learning about one's "personal beliefs" - noticing where they came from, when they were learned, and asking if those beliefs still fit now?

Personal beliefs - the assumptions one makes about oneself and the way things are

For example, I used to believe that "eventually everyone gets dentures - someday I'll have them, too."

I thought this to be true because my grandmother always had them...she was old, and I figured that must be what happens to everyone eventually. When I was about three, I remember seeing those fake teeth sitting in a murky glass of water and wondering when I'd be able to take my teeth out. Combined with a lack of dental interest in my family (light on check-ups and cleanings), I had no other information to contradict my belief.

Does this belief still fit now? No! I've learned that dentures make it harder to eat, and impact the taste of food (which I remember my grandmother complaining about - although I never put it together with her teeth), and those are just the inconveniences. I've learned of a raft of other implications that inspire me to reach for the floss a little more often.

Does this seem unimportant? I'll admit, I didn't choose the juiciest of examples, but the process is the same. What are your assumptions about money, love, and success? Exploring your own beliefs, noticing how they impact your life, and then becoming empowered to choose differently - if the shoe no longer fits - that's "personal growth work."

Consider multipying this one long diatribe by an entire"in-house" vocabulary. Whew! We've got our work cut out for us. I'll tell you, though, we're dedicated to breaking down the concepts of"consciousness" into bite-sized pieces - not because you're not incredibly smart (we know you are!), but because if we don't explain the parts, you too, might miss "the point!"

With simplicity,

Joanne Lutz
Coaching~Consulting~Referral Resource
Founder of The Consciousness Collaborative
www.TheCCsite.com ~ www.WhatsNextWorkshop.com
Joanne@TheCCsite.com ~ ph. 617-827-0803 ~ fax 781-777-1899

August 2009 - Internal Compass

Joanne Lutz — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 21:34:00 GMT

A few months ago I promised a piece about trust. I've expected to write it several times; on each occasion something else came forth instead. Now I'm ready.

These last weeks, I have found myself struggling in ways I've not experienced for many years. A friend described it as this, "Joanne, it feels like you're on a boat, by yourself, in the middle of the ocean in complete darkness, and you have no compass." The image resonated strongly for me. Where was my compass?

Growing up surrounded by confusion and mixed messages... people loving me and disappearing...people hugging me and blaming me for their feelings at the same time, I developed a keen ability to "figure it out." If something could be puzzled through, I would. It felt like my very right to exist was dependent on making sense out that which could not make any sense at all.

It's a strange thing to be a child. We are so vulnerable and need the love and caring that others provide. Through that love, we learn to trust ourselves. We learn to trust the internal compass and navigate our way through the world by listening to our own hearts and feelings. Sometimes this means standing in our deepest knowing, even when it does not line up with the the experiences of the people we most care about and depend on. To learn that we deserve love, even when it feels like no one loves us, is a very powerful gift. At some very deep level, I am just fully accepting this for myself.

I am learning... I have a right to my feelings, even when they don't seem to make sense. I don't have to "do" anything to be worthy of love. I have a powerful internal compass in me that I stuffed in a drawer because I didn't know that the love inside of me was enough, and every time I feel that I can't trust someone, I am really saying that I don't trust myself.

Somehow, when working one-on-one with a client, I trust both of us. The rest melts away. If doubt comes in, I take a peek at my internal compass, invite my client to do the same, and we remain on course...whatever course is true in the moment...and great work happens. It's a good model for me to remember.

So, with my personal discovery, I will also encourage you. The next time you feel that you can't trust someone, check in with the part of you who will love all of who you are, no matter what. From that place, listen to your deepest, truest feelings...those that guide your internal compass. There really are no words for me to convey what an intense part of my journey this has been. Thank you to those who have loved and supported me through this experience, for letting me borrow your compass, when I didn't know where to find my own, and ultimately for helping me to discover the love and trust of my personal internal compass.

With trust and compassion,

Joanne Lutz
Coaching~Consulting~Referral Resource
Founder of The Consciousness Collaborative

www.TheCCsite.com ~ www.WhatsNextWorkshop.com

Joanne@TheCCsite.com ~ ph. 617-827-0803 ~ fax 781-777-1899

July 2009 - Finger Pointing

Joanne Lutz — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 19:23:00 GMT

"Criticism and blame are addictions. They are costly addictions, because they are the number-one destroyer of intimacy in close relationships," according to Gay Hendricks, author of The Big Leap.

Think about the last argument you had with someone close to you. Did it disrupt the intimacy? Was there blame involved? Did you hear the words, "you make me feel..." come out of your mouth? Hendricks proposes, "Arguments are caused by two people racing to occupy the victim position in the relationship." While we may not consciously choose to wear the victim role as a badge of honor, we really fight to prove it's truth!

Listen to the subtext..."you make me feel" = "you have power over me...if you had done it differently, I would be okay. Since you didn't, I am victimized by you." This dynamic occurs with something as simple as who does the dishes. "You make me feel like the maid, because you expect me to do the dishes."

Typically the defendant will race to claim the victim role for himself. "I always do the dishes. You could do them for once!" Translation: "Your power over me makes me the victim, not you."

That's a pretty remarkable power...making someone feel something. Think about it, even if I pinch you, I can't make you feel. I cannot cause you pain or anguish - your experience of my action is your own. I am simply not that powerful, no one is. You are responsible for your feelings; just as I am responsible for mine. So, why do we keep blaming each other?

If we believe Hendricks, it's because we're addicted to the behavior. I perceive that the addiction is an attempt to deflect a responsibility we feel personally; probably a responsibility we took on as a child. We want to charge someone else with the crime, because underneath, we believe it is our fault. "If you loved me, you would have done the dishes." "If you loved me, you wouldn't care if I did the dishes or not." "You must not love me...what's wrong with me?"

Let's make this personally relevant. I invite you to think of someone you'd occasionally like to bop on the head. Whenever you're around them you start to feel a little crazy, angry, or depressed. Now, take your hand and point your finger at them. Notice where most of the fingers are pointing...when I try it, I've got one finger going out and three coming back at me. Who are we really pointing the blame at?

Not so sure? For a single day, accept Hendrick's challenge to stop criticizing and blaming (this includes self criticism and blame). If you have no trouble letting go, it's not an addiction. But if you find, as the day wears on, that the finger pointing is creeping back in to your thoughts and conversations, maybe it's worth a little more attention.

With great compassion,

Joanne Lutz
Coaching~Consulting~Referral Resource
Founder of The Consciousness Collaborative
www.TheCCsite.com ~ www.WhatsNextWorkshop.com

Joanne@TheCCsite.com ~ ph. 617-827-0803 ~ fax 781-777-1899

June 2009 - Sensual Being, Logic Be Gone!

Joanne Lutz — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 15:28:00 GMT

"Apply Logic Here for Best Results" is NOT a magic cure. Have you ever tried it? To avoid experiencing your feelings, you attempt to out-think them? I am a logic master; I know this one.

Many years ago, I attended a workshop lead by April Prita Manganiello. I was on the cusp of truly getting in touch with some very tender feelings about my mom, but I just couldn't access them. I kept trying to think it through, using my linear brain to understand my experience, and was stuck! My clever mind, that had always come through - stymied. To support me, Prita sat behind me, and simply asked, "What's happening in your body, sweetie?" My automatic response was, "What body?"

My fear was so big, I had completely insulated myself in logical protection, not allowing own feelings; not just emotional feelings, but physical feelings. My brain had a blind spot. This was my first experiential clue that the mind and body are not separate.

I think we all get it at some level. Based on positive feedback from the "Love the Water" issue, you know your thoughts are powerful. Sometimes that ache in your back isn't from weeding, it's indicative of some negative thought or emotion held there. I've learned, when I allow myself to feel the emotional feeling, the physical pain usually releases. A win-win.

Why not simply allow the feelings? It's not always as easy as it sounds, because we weren't always adults. When we were little, the feelings really were overwhelming, so we learned to protect ourselves from them. And we don't always know to update the learning. If, right about now the emotional feelings seem a little too woo-woo for you, begin with the physical ones. The fact is, as long as we are in these vulnerable bodies, we are sensual beings; we are designed to feel. Bring awareness to your body.

As I write this, I feel the wind whipping through the windows, catching my hair, blowing it wildly across my face. I feel the cool, hard plastic under my fingertips as I'm typing. On my right shoulder, the warmth of the sun seeps into my shirt and through to my skin. I feel the grain of my wood desk under my right forearm, and the heat of my padded office chair, which has been supporting me all day. I am here, alive, and present in my body. Just like the kids in the photo above, tuned in to their senses.

"What's happening in your body, sweetie?"

Joanne Lutz
Coaching~Consulting~Referral Resource
Founder of The Consciousness Collaborative

www.TheCCsite.com ~ www.WhatsNextWorkshop.com
Joanne@TheCCsite.com ~ ph. 617-827-0803 ~ fax 781-777-1899

May 2009 - Love the Water

Joanne Lutz — Mon, 04 May 2009 14:16:00 GMT

As Japanese researcher Masaru Emoto discovered with his "Messages from the Water" experiment, every thought and word has a vibrational energy so powerful, it alters the molecular structure of water. Yes, you read that correctly. Thoughts and words alter the molecular structure of water!

My experience with last month's mirror meditation reminded me of this power. I could feel the circle of love flow out of me and back into me. I noticed it most poignantly when I would look at myself with the same love and compassion I feel when I'm truly listening to someone. The beautiful intensity reminded me of Emoto's work.

While the spectrum of Emoto's research cannot be amply described in the context of this entry, one portion of the experiment was to print words from a computer and tape them to glass bottles of distilled water. The water was left labeled over night, then droplets were frozen and photographed by a special microscope. The contrasting results were astounding. "Love and Appreciation" formed beautiful snowflake-like crystals. Whereas, "You Make Me sick, I Will Kill You"appeared yellow and sickly (see photos).

So there was, my reflection looking at me with "Love and Appreciation" and I could feel the difference within me. I believe for those few minutes, I had an impact on my own molecular structure, because I, too, am mostly water -as we all are, as is the earth. How stunning - to experience the power of a thought!

I invite you to consider what labels you have taped to yourself and sleep with night after night? Do you feel you're wearing one that makes you feel like sickly goo or a gorgeous crystal?

I'm not really a tattoo person, but I wonder what it might feel like to wear "love and appreciation" on my body. For now, I plan to skip the needle and allow the power of my daily thoughts - simply by "loving the water" within me. Try it yourself - it's amazing!

With thoughts of love and appreciation,

Joanne Lutz
Coaching~Consulting~Referral Resource
Founder of The Consciousness Collaborative
www.TheCCsite.com ~ www.WhatsNextWorkshop.com
Joanne@TheCCsite.com ~ ph. 617-827-0803 ~ fax 781-777-1899

April 2009 - Mating Season

Joanne Lutz — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 18:11:00 GMT

Ahh...Spring Fever...that time of year when extended sunlight acts asan aphrodisiac...seriously, it's scientifically proven! It reminds me of an article I read a few weeks ago about a matchmaker who has this80/20 rule. She theorizes, if you find someone with 80% of what you're looking for in a mate, this is a viable match. If you move on, you're likely to find no better than another 80% person - simply a different80%. Interesting!

Then the universe kept sending me a message. "True power is the ability to be true to your self." I wasn't hearing voices, but the number of ways the message came to me was a little"Field of Dreams-ish." How does this relate to mating season?

It occurred to me, the real match is the person you're willing to be at least 80% of your true self with. That's where the real potential lies. And the most important person to start with is yourself, because we are biologically built to mirror one another! Others literally reflect our energy. If you're curious about the science of this, look up "mirror neurons." So, the big joke, "it's all about me" isn't such a joke after all. To attract what we want, whether it's a mate,friends, or situation, start at the source - you!

With this in mind, I began asking myself some challenging questions. "Am I willing to speak my truth, regardless of what someone else might think of me? Am I willing to live my truth, even if it doesn't fit the clothes I might be wearing? If I'm not willing to be completely true to myself; do I then find that I'm a little suspicious of everyone else?!" This last question begins a trust discussion; I'll save that for another newsletter.

In turn, I find myself challenging identities I've created along the way about who I am - very cool stuff! And, I am abundantly clear: there is no greater power within me than the power to be true to all of who I am...and my willingness to speak it and live it is the manifestation of that power - just as it is yours. Try it! Ask yourself the questions I asked. And begin to notice if you're willing to give yourself "true" answers. If not, why not? What do you have invested in keeping the truth hidden? It is mating season, after all, who better to mate than your true self?!

Sharing the spring fever,

Joanne Lutz
Coaching~Consulting~Referral Resource
Founder of The Consciousness Collaborative

www.TheCCsite.com ~ www.WhatsNextWorkshop.com
Joanne@TheCCsite.com ~ ph. 617-827-0803 ~ fax 781-777-1899

March 2009 - Spring Cleaning

Joanne Lutz — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 00:54:00 GMT

Soon the rains will be coming to wash away winter and give birth to the seeds of spring. It has me thinking about spring cleaning... when everything in the house is polished, laundered, and submerged in some sort of pungent fluid. My grandmother did this every year when I was little; I was her "official helper." My big job was reorganizing the cabinet under the bathroom sink.

I'd remove everything in the cabinet, throw away the obvious trash, and reassign jobs - an empty cotton ball box became the container for all of the loose Band-Aids, a small old basket became the Q-tip holder, etc. Left with only the contents returning to the cabinet, I'd decide how best to fit everything back in, based on the space available and how often each item got used.

These days, I don't clean the house unless it's absolutely necessary! But I've been finding myself sweeping out some mental cobwebs, sorting through some of the beliefs I've been storing under the sink for years. In a few conversations I've lately had with Adrian Wilkins, he has prompted me to start emptying out the cabinet. After committing the past 12+ years to my personal growth and development, I can't believe the things that are still tucked in the back corners, sticking to the bottom with some ancient goop that leaked out along the way.

And so, I have a choice. I can live with the goop in a section of real estate that doesn't get much use, or I can walk the talk of the coaching career I've chosen and clean the entire thing out, consciously deciding not to get goop on any of the good stuff. Because, if I'm honest with myself, there's a lot of good stuff that gets a little bit gooped up, when I don't do my spring cleaning.

I've already found a few things to trash and reassign. I forgot how satisfying this feeling used to be when I was little! With that remembering, I'm committing to pulling everything out of the cabinet and keeping only the useful stuff. It's what I encourage all of my clients to do! If you're curious about what's stored under your sink, crack the door open. There's nothing more valuable you can offer yourself than a good spring cleaning!

Wishing you warm rains of growth,

Joanne Lutz
Coaching~Consulting~Referral Resource
Founder of The Consciousness Collaborative
www.TheCCsite.com ~ www.WhatsNextWorkshop.com
Joanne@TheCCsite.com ~ ph. 617-827-0803 ~ fax 781-777-1899

February 2009 - Winter's Intensity

Joanne Lutz — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 20:21:00 GMT

As we are immersed in the depths and intensity of winter (my least favorite season), I find myself remembering this one line from a Walt Whitman poem, "I sound my barbaric YAWP over the roofs of the world."

That feels about right to me, a "barbaric YAWP" of intensity. In line with my own growing edge, I thought there might be a lesson here for me. Maybe I can take a cue from Mother Nature, and despite my distaste for the cold, the snow, the ice, and the barrenness, I could embrace the undeniable passion with which it comes to us. I mean, it's really winter! I don't have to like that it's winter. I can choose to go away some place warm or simply hide away in my house with the heat turned up, covered by a big blanket and a variety of cats, but still...it's WINTER!

So, maybe there's a way to appreciate the conviction with which it presents itself. Winter is not shy or coy. Winter is not concerned with whether or not I like it. Winter simply IS! With all it's beauty and ugliness, I never doubt whether or not winter means to be here. It simply IS here...so, what if the same is true about me, and about you?

What if there's no need to apologize for what our individual truths are? No matter how loud my voice is, it matters. So does yours! Not because I say so, or believe it to be so, but because it IS so, just as it is winter.

I find this leading to a celebration of intensity and power. Mine, yours, and Mother Nature's. Is this one of those, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em moments? Maybe, but I prefer to think of it as a chance to "sound my barbaric YAWP over the roofs of the world." I'd love to hear yours,too!

Warm regards with great power and intensity,

Joanne Lutz
Coaching~Consulting~Referral Resource
Founder of The Consciousness Collaborative
www.TheCCsite.com ~ www.WhatsNextWorkshop.com
Joanne@TheCCsite.com ~ ph. 617-827-0803 ~ fax 781-777-1899